Now what?

This has taken me a while to get started beacuse I have been running all over the state, wait, make that the nation fueled by caffeine and a mission! I was crowned Miss Orange County in January and ever since, I seem have this fire under my rear! Oh wait, that's always there. :) Really though, I was in complete disbelief when they called my name. I had been texting my mom backstage throughout the pageant, "Man did I mess on-stage question up, or what?!" "Welp, there goes talent..." "Well, at least we got to have a girls' weekend in Orlando!" So, here I am thinking about how if I put my weight on my heel, my shoes wouldn't hurt as much, thinking about what the girl's face was going to look like when she won (always a favorite of mine), and where would be a go to dinner afterwards and they say, "Your new Miss Orange County 2011 is...Brittany Hagan!"

Winning a pageant is like being in that state where you're just waking up or falling asleep. You know there are people out in the audience, but you can't really see their faces. You hear the music, but it doesn't really register as a song you've ever heard before. All you can think is, "Ok, one step at a time...down the stairs now...I think I'm supposed to bend down... ok how long do I take my first walk?" All the while, you can't stop smiling like an idiot. It's a weird and amazing feeling when you work so hard for something, and then it actually happens. It's like you're yearning for so long, every thought, every ounce of your being goes into attaining that goal, then all of a sudden, it's there in front of you. What do you do with it?

This is the age old question. When I won my first title in Indiana, we went out to Steak n' Shake afterwards. Bob Knight was there, of the infamous Bob and Wilma. He looked right at me and said, "Ok, you won! Now what?" I looked at him, terrified. This is the man that had completely stumped me in interview as a judge two pageants before at Miss Duneland. I will always know the state flower because of Bob. I said..."Ummm... gosh....Work on my platform?" I knew that was a weak answer, but it wasn't until I actually had been through the ups and downs of a titleholder that I knew what value I wanted to add where. Yet, it seems to be evolving all the time. The first year, after visiting Riley Hospital for Children, I knew I had to do everything in my power to help those precious kiddos, and they were my inspiration that year. The second year, I knew I wanted to be Miss Indiana to spread my message, so I did everything in my power to grow into a woman capable of that job learning who I was and becoming fearless enough to put it out there. This year, it's everything. Absolutely everything. I feel my heart outstretched in so many different directions, sometimes I feel like I'm just going to burst. So this year, how do I embody this theme I've found to pop up in my life time after time. What's next? Now what?

1.) My platform. I absolutely loved the work I did with autism. I loved the children and families I met along the way and will continue to be a champion for the cause. However, I believe that we can affect people most when we make ourselves vulnerable. So, because of my personal experience with an eating disorder for several of my teen years, I know that after 11 years of silence, it is time to speak out. But this is not about me, about my story. I've told my story, I've healed, and my family has healed. This is about the 11 million people and everyone that loves them. It's for those who are still in that dark place, still struggling everyday with this illness. This fight is for them. My platform is called "Redefining Reality: The Awareness and Prevention of Eating Disorders." In a world full of unrealistic expectations, my message is simple: Be real. Be healthy. Redefine the Reality that we have created that perfection is beautiful. You are imperfectly perfect right now, just as you are. Throughout the year I will be posting pictures of events I do through this crusade, information about the prevention and awareness of eating disorders, and tons of other stuff, so keep checking back to see how YOU can help! It's closer to home than you think.

2.) Embracing this organization. I have gotten the rare opportunity to fall in love with the Miss America Organization (MAO) in Indiana with my first two years in the system I got to see them crown their first Miss America the year I started competing. I have had the opportunity to compete on a national level meeting amazing women from almost every state of the country. Now, I get to end my journey as a contestant in my new beautiful, hospitable, warm :) home of Florida. I have always loved the MAO, but not until this year have I gotten emotional months before just thinking about my last closing statement at my last pageant interview ever (which will be Miss Florida in July). I have never had such amazing sister queens to learn from and grow with. I have been blessed with fantastic directors before, and still, Don and Juan never cease to amaze me. I always leave their house with a gigantic smile. I always come away from our meetings with an inside joke. I always end up feeling as if I have found two friends in Florida who totally and completely "get me." They have enhanced my MAO experience when I thought it couldn't be better.

3.) Prepare to become Miss Florida. "That which we focus on grows." This is a quote that I live by. I have no control over who the judges see fit to become Miss Florida, but I do have control over how much I prepare to become my most capable self. And so far, it has been every day, all day, but not in an exhausting way, in an exhilarating way. My mom is constantly checking in on me. "Aren't you tired yet?" "Have you gotten sick from all the running around you do yet?" My answer to her is, "When you love what you do, it's energizing, not exhausting." I am constantly meeting new to people, listening to people's stories, going to every appearnce and event humanly possible, speaking out to schools, getting in top physical shape (my mornings keep getting earlier and earlier thanks to Chris Kelly at Peak Fitness :), going to multiple dance classes every week to tighten my talent, and learning every day a little more about what I am capable of. It has all been baby steps, but I am confident that if my preparation gets to meet opportunity, I will be ready.


Through all of this year, I will keep you updated with pictures, words, information, and LOVE for anyone who takes their time to read this.

There's one thing I haven't been able to stop thinking about since the night of Orange County, and that is, "How weird is it that every local title I've won has been a brand new program with nobody coming before me?" I imagine God looking down and laughing, and saying in his big, booming God-like voice, "Now Brittany, you know you're not really one to follow in someone else's footsteps, don't you?"

Here's to love and laughter,
Britt